Shoprite: The store that does it all

In an effort to expand their product offerings to the public a New Jersey Shoprite added kiddie care police. Yep, beans on Aisle 2, rice in Aisle 5 and child welfare investigations in Aisle 10.

So when the parents of Adolf Hitler Campbell asked for a birthday cake from Shoprite they got a polite "You're tacky and we're calling the cops" (link to ABC News story).

As if Adolf Hitler issn't a strange enough name for a youngster, little Adolf's siblings are Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. Clearly mommy and daddy have issues but here's the kicker -- the State of New Jersey took custody of these kids.

Now these little darlings are between 3 years old and 8 months. Presumably, their names are on the Certificates of Live and Supreme Birth. Also presumably, the family has filed their taxes in the last three years listing all the names of their little Aryan household.

All of the above is assumption, but what is not asusmption is that the crack team at Shoprite broke the case to Garden State Central which prompted the removal of these kids from their goosestepping home. Imagine, the crew at the bakery picked up the trouble on the Polish border (as it were) well ahead of the Child Welfare folks Garden State central command. If these guys had been in Miami perhaps Janet Reno could have scooped up Elian Gonzalez at the candy aisle instead of having to kick in the door.

Superficially this looks to be about the names. The news stories I have heard have reported it that way. Now before anyone gets bent out of shape, the exact reasons for removing the kids is as yet undisclosed but it seems as though the kids’ names had something to do with it perhaps as a symptom and not as a cause. But we don't know yet.

I understand that mommy and daddy are a bit whacked, but what is the threshold for taking kids away? Something here does not pass the smell test besides the eau d’landfill of the Jersey turnpike.

What I truly hope is that there is much more to this that we don’t know yet. The agency also states that they cannot disclose the reasons for the snatch and grab because it violates privacy laws. Apparently taking kids out of the house does not violate privacy laws.

From right off of the NJ Dept of Child Welfare site comes these two definitions:

Abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional harm or risk of harm to a child under the age of 18 caused by a parent or other person who acts a caregiver for the child. Neglect occurs when a parent or caregiver fails to provide proper supervision for a child or adequate food, clothing, shelter, education or medical care although financially able or assisted to do so.

It does not state on the site what degree of any of the above constitutes grounds for removal from a home, but further research on some family law sites shows that New Jersey has a mandatory "rat out your neighbors" law over kids’ safety.

But the Dept of Body Snatchers needs to say something. When kids get grabbed by order of the same folks who can’t balance a budget every parent gets geeked and rightfully so. It looks bad no matter what the reasons are for removing children. Not sure what necessary looks like but apparently Joisey has that answer.

Oh and if any of you think HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADOLF HITLER CAMPBELL is a bad idea for a birthday cake then check out the blog Cakewrecks where you'll see more horrible cakes.

Link to Cakewrecks.